2005-11-09 - 11:54 p.m.
I hate you
I want you
I can't get enough of you
You say you miss me
But you always, always
looked the other way
I miss you
But you dont care
You never cared
You made me feel
feel like I was the only one
sitting in a room
with nothing but a mirror
Infront of my eyes
I saw myself and not you
That's why...
I hate you
I want you
I can't get enough of you
You held me
And said you loved me
But you lied
I saw, in your eyes
You didn't care...
you didn't care
Now I lay here in silent bliss
Wishing I never...
Saw your pretty face.
You think it's funny
to mess with me
Boy you'll get it
I never had confidence in myself... And I don't think I ever will. All I hear are lies surrounding me. Drowning me into sorrow. I come to my friends, but they think my happiness is much more important then their trust and honesty. I hate you all for telling me that I'm beautiful... I hate you all for telling me that I'm not fat. Because you know what... I think I am ugly. I never ever in my life felt beautiful. And I still dont. Don't take it to hard, because that's just how I feel. And at this moment, don't try to comfort me, and tell me that I'm stupid, because I wont listen to you. It's my own insecurities. I think I am fat. Yes... all my life, I was told to run. Do all the sports I could. And I did in High School and in Middle School. And what happened? I broke into pieces. And food was my only way out of any pain that I was feeling towards you, him and life. And now my size is equvelant to Santa Clause's face. You may think I'm not, but I feel as fat as any bastard can be. I don't like feeling this way, but I can't help but drown my sorrows in my very high concentrated caffienated, suger-rush and faty drinks and food. That is why I hate myself, you and everyone else!!
