2018-02-14 - 11:42 a.m.
So I’ve tried anal for the 2nd time in my life just recently.
WTF!!!!!!!
I never thought at 18 sitting at a table with friends and strangers passing a blunt around that 12 years from now I’d have my hubby’s big hard dick sliding in and out of my ass hole. The major orifice I would never associate with pleasure or anything other than an exit of human toxic excrements.
Usually if anything funny happens down there it’s something like the one time I got the runs at school I had to run to the bathroom. Literally, I shit my pants. Wouldn’t be the first time. The 2nd time was actually in front of hubby. Well, I sharted actually. But it all still ended up in my poor little pretty blue panties. I forget how that happened, but I have a feeling it was his fault. I think he tickled me too hard, or his dick was too far down my throat. Haha darn those body reflexes.
Anyway, I always thought it was hot to see some girls in porn stick a finger in, or the guy lick the ass hole. Lol That’s right, I watch porn too… Geez, it’s no big deal. Lol we’re all secret little perverts. I have no friends IRL, so whoever you are in diaryland, you’re just gonna have to deal with it now. Lol It’s hot though, when you tickle or play with the ass hole a bit? Lol Until you see the guys and sometimes even other girls stick their whole damn fists inside the girls ass hole!!!!. Like a human ventriloquist, she has someone else literally up her ass. That’s just too intense right there… but no, they go a step further and do something called rectal prolapse.
Funny thing, doing a quick google search on this lovely new fetish, it actually affects normal people NOT into porn. Whaaaaa???? Lol
[Rectal prolapse is a condition in which the rectum (the last part of the large intestine before it exits the anus) loses its normal attachments inside the body, allowing it to telescope out through the anus, thereby turning it “inside out”. While this may be uncomfortable, it rarely results in an emergent medical problem. However, it can be quite embarrassing and often has a significant negative impact on patients’ quality of life.]
So whether I chose to do anal at all wouldn’t matter because once I pass the age of 60 years, I’m at risk of my anal insides to come out! Hahaha WTF! Being human sucks sometimes. Lol
Regardless of how hilarious that sounds, the perverted part of me wanted to try and stick stuff up my ass. Hahaha, and for a while I never told hubby. The exploration of my ass hole only happened in the shower, and with my finger. Then one day my vibrating tooth brush ( the end of the handle not the bristle part ) ended up in my ass hole. O.O If the shower wasn’t on, well… I would have been wet from something else besides water! Hahaha
Then one day we took a random trip to California. On our way to the hotel that night we got a nice bottle of Smirnoff cranberry flavored vodka, with ice and lots cranberry juice. Lol this was a time before we had the half-lings, so we were hammered. Lol And then we were horny, drunk and very horny. I told him at some point I wanted to see if he could stick his huge dick in my ass. He of course was thrilled. I hadn’t realized that he was curious about anal sex just as much as I was. But we were doing it wrong because the next morning my ass hurt, there was MY human excrement on the sheets and my ass was really hurting! Hahaha
We spent the following day at Six Flags, I will never forget it. Because every time we were jostled around my ass kept bouncing on the hard plastic seats of the rides, and of course it hurt every time. Hahaha hubby was so apologetic, even though we were both really wanting to try it and failing at it, I think the fact that I was in pain was something unexpected. It was supposed to feel good right? That’s what the girls look and sound like in the porn.
Well 10 years later, here we are; Married, 2 kids, 2 dildos, a vibrator, and 3 missing cock rings. Lol Nothing else really seems to be missing right? Well not so heifer! For some odd reason after our rigorous love making activity, the chaffing, the soreness, we were at a stand still during my sickness. But then when that infestation vanished we needed to rekindle the kinkiness. And our answer…
ANAL SEX.
But we did it right this time!!!! LOL We had purchased a few toys that helps with the stretching. Anal plugs that were a few different sizes were all used one at a time and slowly. Not too slow of course, the babies are sleeping and you can’t just run around with a plug up your ass changing diapers. Lol well you could, but I sure as hell didn’t want to.
So with my ass up in the air, hubby was pushing in and pulling out various plugs to help stretch me so I could take his full girth in. And ladies and gentlemen, it fucking worked!!!! I have no idea why I’m even writing about this. I sound like such a dirty sailor, but I don’t care. I really don’t have friends in real life. Haha, just old ladies that I work with who talk about their diabetes and heart problems.
So the major key, have lots and LOTS of lube on hand and various sizes of anal plugs to help stretch your loved ones ass hole.
What I really want to get to is the feeling. Hahaha. Right now though, I’m feeling embarrassed, slightly shy, giggly, and kinda turned on from just writing this entry. Anyway, when we thought we were good with stretching, in slides hubby’s delicious COCK! Lol (my oh my, so many dirty words in this entry)
At first it just feels like a dick in the ass hole. You’re thinking for a minute... ’should I have done this? Am I going to be ok? Will I randomly die from his cock ripping at my insides? Can that happen? What does it look like from the inside? Will I regret this when I’m 60? Do I at least look like a porn star? Do porn stars feel this too? When does it start feeling good?...
When you get to that questioning the oh so good feeling, then something does start to creep in.
You know that feeling when your body is telling you, ‘You’re about to take a HUGE dump! Go to the bathroom soon or suffer!’ So you take your happy little ass and sit down. The moment that your ass hole opens up to let out that huge hard turd, do you remember that relieving release of pressure? Ever get it? Has that ever felt good? The release of a HUGE HARD TURD?? Well take that times 100!!! And then at the end of that ass ride you begin to release a ridiculously loud jungle animalistic cry of triumph of ecstasy as the feeling rips through your ass down to your toes and back up your face, giving you a memorable and unforgettable orgasm. Well that shit happened. And we never planned on it. Lol But we were sure damn happy about it happening the way it did.
Oh yes, what I thought was really hot, was the cream pie in my ass hole hubby left. I don’t know why, but that major factor was what helped me climax. Again, I don’t know why I’m sharing this but its my diary right? Haha
Anyway, that’s how we started 2018! Haha
Alrighty, well I think I’ve reached my dirty girl quota for the month. Lol
Till next time fart faces! Lol
:-Dani
Ps- What are your New Year’s resolutions!?
